December 30, 2012 by Ifeoma Dennis
I feel melancholic today. I guess part of it owes to the fact that I’m at a pensive point in my book. My characters are having difficulties with finding motivation to see them through.
And I guess the other part is due to me. I am scared. I am afraid. Of the future. Of what life holds. Of trying and failing.
I’ve been awake since morning (it’s 1:21am the following day) and I only wrote two chapters today. Two chapters a day is usually my target but my writing has been a bit slow for two or three days now (owing to my prolonged melancholy)- so I’ve been writing one chapter a day- and I feel I need to speed things up.
I set myself a deadline for 31st but as it is just a day away, it seems like a deadline I won’t meet. I might fall short of it by three days. I hope it doesn’t go more than that.
Anyways, I have been talking to God about everything, and I hope He answers.
Also, there is a new quote in my head that gives me strength (got the inspiration from Divergent’s author’s page)-
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” – Dune ( Dune Chronicles #1) written by Frank Herbert.